As I Began to Love Myself...

The posts here are aimed at gentle, sensitive souls who want to be the best people they can be and who want to bring out the best in others. 

I think every girl in this world should be able to have those times where she feels beautiful and perfectly comfortable in her own skin. I have recently come across someone, of whom there are many, who insists that make-up is a societal mechanism that disallows women to have any confidence in their own natural beauty. Without getting too heated, I would say that if you feel that make up is fulfilling such a purpose, then don't wear it. There are so many more pressing gender inequalities across societies that I really think any serious action in this respect is completely the wrong battle to fight. 

I love make-up. It allows us to be creative. It brings out our best features. It makes us brave. If you want to see some of my make-up reviews, check out mics008 on http://www.makeupalley.com ;)

This blog is not out to intend that I have all the answers, because I definitely don't. Much of what I say is directed at me; telling myself to take it easy and that its all gonna be okay. My posts are short and jump with my train of thought; if I suddenly remember something while I am talking about something else, then I will jump to that topic. This is mainly because I am scared of forgetting it.

 Most of all, I want you to leave this page feeling inspired and at peace. In the end only you yourself can do that, but often all we need is a nudge in the right direction. 

for those beautiful people

"Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. you only have to come to it, to know it, to realise it." - Osho

Never compare yourself to others. Its your journey. "You don't know how lovely you are" (Coldplay, The Scientist). You are so beautiful, but it is your sparkling personality shining through that makes you so wonderful. Allow yourself to be sad, but never give up. Don't be too hard on yourself. Life is about learning from our mistakes. Establish a goal, even if it may seem intangible to others. Try peace. Or non-attachment: 

The three grand essentials in this life are: Something to do
                                                             Something to love
                                                             Something to hope for



Never give up; the best is yet to come. 

...

 Rather be for something than against something. Rather be FOR vegetarianism than against meat-eating. 

"He who listens to the truth is not less than he who utters truth." - Kahlil Gibran, poet and artist (1883-1931)

thought for the day

Thought for the day

 I met an angel who today who told me to grab life with two hands and that no one is going to do anything for me in this life. She said, "Do this one thing for me, ok? Focus on your studies, and fuck everyone else, fuck those who are rude to you." 

We must grab life with two hands. But we must also look after each other, and allow others to look after us. Life is hard. We mustn't think for one minute that we can do it by ourselves. 

I don't just want to talk about changing the world; I want to change the world. But I have learnt that being angry will not change the world. And I have also learnt that changing the world starts with changing our own behaviour.  

The University of Cape Town in the wintertime

How to Survive a UCT Winter

I remember two years ago, when I first started at UCT, telling my sister how I couldn’t wait for UCT in the wintertime, to which she quickly warned me against. If you are like me, who loves the beach, sunshine, being tanned, and the long days and short nights of summer, then an article on how to survive winter is hardly going to elicit eager anticipation. Much of this article is aimed at first years, because when I first came to UCT, I pictured cozy and picturesque winter days at UCT. What I instead found was an icy wind cutting right through my carefully bundled up outfit and I would end up with drenched shoes. Here are a few do’s and don’t’s that will hopefully make you more prepared for a winter at UCT. 

1.      Wear tights rather than jeans. They are just as warm and dry super-quickly. Any tights pull off this function, but if you can get hold of them, get heat-sensor ones.

2.      We all know that we should check the weather in advance, but it’s so easy to forget when the current day’s weather is full of autumn sunshine (Hey, winter’s not actually so bad?!) On days when you know that it’s going to rain, make sure that you wear a good pair of sneakers. Only wear boots if they are of exceptional quality. Those cute R250 ankle boots that you couldn’t resist at Woolies are definitely not ideal on those uncertain June mornings.

3.      Don’t wear an unattractive shirt that you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing underneath all your layers just because you can. The library and most of the computer labs are heated up to an insane degree during the winter-time. You can literally get away with wearing a sundress in the middle of winter. UCT’s generous heating has, on occasion, made working outside in the cold more preferable.

4.      Pile on the clothing, wrap up warmly in every item of warm clothing that you have. If you are fortunate enough to possess all those items then you might as well be warm and look like a marshmallow.

This winter, instead of complaining, we should be grateful for everything we have. Not to get too deep and philosophical here, but, to share one of my favourite quotes by an American motivational speaker, Denis Waitley, “Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, won or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude”. For many of us at UCT, we not only have lots of stuff, we have lots of nice stuff! Albert Camus said that “In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer”. Let’s face it; winter isn’t pleasant. While most people will enact the tiresome “Oh I love winter as long as I’m wrapped up in my duvet with a cup of hot chocolate” spiel, for those of us who regularly rely on public transport and who don’t live five minutes away from campus, winter is a real las. On a rainy day on campus, we are all kind of in the same boat; let’s be kind and thoughtful towards each other and appreciate everything we have. 

Dessert People

This chocolate is my absolute weakness at the moment. I love my food, but I have a particular affinity for sweet stuff - who wouldn't? is what I think... After all, who can deny that it tastes delicious and that it makes you feel better? In addition to this most can attest to their parents rewarding/bribing them with sugary treats. It has been ingrained as a coping mechanism! Unfortunately, the initial warm feelings do subside and often develop into an overwhelming sense of guilt and self-disgust. The word 'chocoholic' resonates with me because if there is chocolate around, especially the one pictured above, I literally can't stop myself and I feel like a junkie who is getting their fix; as good as it tastes in that moment, I know that I am going to regret it afterwards.

I have scoured through many articles on the internet claiming they know the secret to overcoming sugar addiction, but I have yet to find one written by a sane person or a person that I can relate to. They can be one or the other. Some of the suggestions I have come across are ridiculous such as 'just go for a walk', but others are more practical such as being insistent on not keeping chocolate or sugary treats in the house and requesting of those you live with to do the same. My all-time solution, if you can call it that, is allowing your body to eat what it is craving, but doing so smartly. In other words, rather spoil yourself on a high-quality dark chocolate and eat less of it, than have a supermarket-sized chocolate bar.

The truth is that if you are happy and at peace you can eat whatever you want. If you keep yourself busy and surround yourself with positive, like-minded people, you will eat when you are hungry, not as a coping mechanism. Chocolate is a crutch. The three grand essentials in this life are (1) something to do, (2) something to love, and (3) something to hope for. It is not easy (life) and we mustn't be too hard on ourselves. If we didn't make mistakes we would never learn. We must enjoy life and enjoy our food. We should not monitor ourselves, but rather listen to what our bodies really want.

Finally, I just wanted to share a quote from Jess from New Girl: 
    
“I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my    entire day talking to children, and I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird and it freaks me out. And I'm sorry I don’t talk like Murphy Brown, and I hate your pant suit and I wish it had ribbons on it to make it slightly cute. And that doesn’t mean I'm not smart and tough and strong.” 

The part about the dessert person really resonated with me :)

"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode,but the true beauty of a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. the beauty of a woman grows with the passing of years." - Audrey Hepburn

Every girl should feel like she is beautiful. Even though we all have those "ugly days" (a tutor of mine once referred to it as "not having an Audrey Hepburn day"), it is so important that we don't bully ourselves. Cognitive therapist Dan Roberts (taken from an article of Glamour magazine February 2013) states that "we often think about ourselves in an incredibly harsh, even downright nasty way". The article continues that when you say to yourself "'Ugh, you look so bloated today', just stop and think: 'Would I say this to my best friend?' Of course not. So focus on what you would say. "It's bound to be something much more supportive, helpful, and reassuring" says Dan".

Shifting your thinking in this way does not mean that you are succumbing to vanity. When you feel good about yourself you can best serve others.

"Fashion is so close in revealing a person’s inner feelings and everybody seems to hate to lay claim to vanity so people tend to push it away. It’s really too close to the quick of the soul."

— Stella Blum

Here are some tips on how to feel beautiful:

1. Wear perfume. 

2. Make a conscious effort to keep your shoulders back and maintain a healthy posture. Its amazing what a difference this can make. 

3. 'Messy bed, messy head'- keeping your workspace and bedroom clean and organised will go a long way in ensuring a peaceful state of mind. 

4. Keep your hair out of your face. If you can pull it off, don a topknot and top it off with some stylish sunglasses. 

5. Most importantly; think good thoughts. One of my favourite quotes is, “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” 

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. The best is yet to come.

To some this might appear to be stating the obvious, but I have posted this for anyone who needs that extra bit of encouragement and support. I know I definitely need it sometimes (what would I do without the internet? :))

xxx

look after each other

Finally learned how to attach pics :) here are some gems... sometimes you can read/see/hear something, even  if it is something you have come across before, and it can completely shift your way of thinking. Sometimes realising that other people are going through the same thing as you can make your problems seem a bit lighter. In the end we all need each other. It is not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. Sweet dreams :) 

objects of my affection

fash·ion  

/ˈfaSHən/

Noun A popular trend, esp. in styles of dress, ornament, or behaviour.

To me, fashion is an outlet. I love to look at beautiful things. I love how clothes allow us to be creative. Buying clothes is like buying pieces of art. Clothes speak to me; even if they are mass-produced. I take care buying them, looking after them, and displaying them. I prefer to buy clothes made in South or southern Africa. What we wear should never be criticised. In a world in which one is compelled to conform in so many ways, what we wear should remain a luxury that allows us to be ourselves.

I love collecting clothes and building outfits.  

"It’s a new era in fashion - there are no rules. It’s all about the individual and personal style, wearing high-end, low-end, classic labels, and up-and-coming designers all together."

— Alexander McQueen

It’s about taking trends and making them your own.

“I wear cheap clothes, but I know I look good in them” – a girl in Jet (South African clothing store).

“Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It's movement, design and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we'd like to be.” – Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl.

One final fashion quote for tonight is, "Be sure what you want and be sure about yourself. Fashion is not just beauty, it’s about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong." — Adriana Lima. 

first blog post :)

Writing about oneself is always difficult without sounding obnoxious and possibly even narcissistic (having and extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration). From my earliest days of having to undergo this awful task I have always hated my written voice when doing so. Writing academically, however tedious at times, is not invasive in the way that ‘creative’ writing is, especially when undertaken in the first person. I once read somewhere that it is not the monumental quality conveyed in autobiography that makes it successful, but the style in which it is done. For this one need only think of certain people’s online posts, ones in which they can talk about the most banal things and yet still sustain an attentive audience. So yes I hate talking about myself and have now gone to great lengths so as to validate this.

The above was meant to go in my 'about me', hence the severity of tone… (!)

 This blog is all about lovely things and things that inspire me. I hope that if someone accidentally stumbles upon it they will be cheered up, inspired, or thought-provoked. This is my very first time doing this… I don’t want to have to follow any rules, but at the moment I may be overthinking all the small details as I don’t know who is actually going to end up reading it… but whoever it is, I hope you enjoy reading it xxx Mic